Republicans

Yet another Republican ABM (Anybody But Mitt) candidate has experienced failure to launch.

The Newt Gingrich rocket that seemed oh-so-formidable just a few weeks ago didn't survive an avalanche of negative ads financed by stealth Romney money in Iowa. It crashed and burned on takeoff.

Romney rolled to victory by a whopping eight-vote margin over — surprise, surprise! — Rick Santorum, yet another new candidate fresh out of the ABM design studio. Romney, whose support (as George Will observed) "has fluctuated wildly between 23 and 26 percent," got just under 25 percent of the vote.

I was out of the country for a couple of weeks and came back to be greeted by yet another Republican presidential debate. I was so pleased.

I hadn't realized how much I missed that goofy bunch of crazy kids.

In a country with a functional political system, Rick Perry's presidential candidacy would be laughed out of the room.

I mean, really. This is the 21st century, right? It's the information age.

Is it reasonable to take seriously a candidate who doesn't believe in evolution, is contemptuous of even the possibility of climate change, and calls the chairman of the Federal Reserve a traitor for attempting to help the economy?

It…is…not.

Tim Pawlenty, erstwhile governor of Minnesota, gave up his bid for the presidency after finishing third in Iowa's Ames Straw Poll, shocking the vast majority of Americans who didn't know he was running.

I don't know whether it was a wise move or not, but it doesn't speak well of his perseverance. Getting knocked out of the race by the Ames Straw Poll is the political equivalent of being electrocuted by a flashlight battery.

My feeling continues to grow that somewhere deep in the psyche of the American people there is a screw loose.

We entered the 21st century as the most powerful nation on earth. There was nobody second. We had our problems, certainly, but we also had a budget surplus, a reasonable foreign policy, and a bright future.

At which point the American people, in their wisdom, elected an ignoramus from Texas to lead them. He led them into two wars, a crushing public debt, and a financial crisis of historic proportions.

I recently wrote a column suggesting that my "lamestream media" colleagues give Michele Bachmann more love. As the most Republican of the Republican candidates, she deserved more attention, I said.

They took me seriously. In the recent New Hampshire GOP debate, she emerged as the star. Television networks, newspapers, and blogs all agreed that she had handled herself well and since then have given her the respect accorded a serious candidate.

The thing is, I was just kidding. It was a joke, an ironic statement on how loopy the Republican Party has become.

Jon Huntsman is edging closer to announcing his presidential bid, bringing shivers of joy to the hearts of Republican moderates — both of them.

Huntsman, a former Utah governor, recently resigned his post as U.S. ambassador to China (as in "Barack Obama's ambassador to China") and dropped hints that he is considering taking on his former boss in 2012.

Republicans have criticized President Barack Obama for his "failure to lead," particularly when it comes to shrinking the budget deficit.

Well, the other day he led. He offered up a long-term plan for controlling the deficit while protecting programs that the poor and elderly depend on.

Did any Republican follow? Not a one. They accused Obama of shallowness, disingenuousness, and (get the children out of the room) partisanship.

National Public Radio is having a tough time. It's being beaten up and knocked down, its good name dragged through the mud.

It hurts to watch stumble after bumble by executives of this smart radio network. (It's still smart if you listen to it, but behind the scenes, oh my.)

It started with the Juan Williams affair. Mr. Williams -- who, incredibly enough, was both NPR's house conservative and Fox News' house liberal -- told the Fox audience that he got nervous when he saw people who looked like Muslims board his plane.

The Republicans told us what they wanted to do in their "Pledge to America" last year: cut government, slash taxes, and shrink the national debt. But they didn't tell us how they were going to do it. Now they have.

Basically, it involves ripping the heart out of the future and burying it at the intersection of crumbling highways and a falling-down bridge to nowhere.

It's caviar and champagne for the lucky few, macaroni and cheese for the rest of us.